Don’t Draft Russell Westbrook!

If the NBA had a haircut draft, you\'d be number 1!

***If you’re coming from Bruins Nation…please read my rebuttal on TheSportSpin.com (yes, I was wrong…)***

The NBA draft is arguably my favorite day of the year. I love seeing the start of what are promising careers for some and landmark disappointments for others (Nikoloz Tskitishvili 5th overall in 2002).

Every analyst on earth is putting up their mock drafts, so I will spare you that formality (they’re always wrong after the first 3 picks anyway). Instead I will extend a warning to NBA GM’s, particularly those in the 4-9 position in the lottery:

DO NOT DRAFT RUSSELL WESTBROOK!

I know it sounds harsh, but over the past few weeks I’ve seen Westbrook’s stock rise faster than gas prices, and I cannot figure out why. He was a mediocre college player on a team that was basically left to him and Kevin Love when Darren Collison was injured for a chunk of the season.

Yes, he’s a freak athlete and supposedly a ‘lock down’ defender with a huge wingspan (according to Jay Bilas, nobody in the draft has a wingspan under 7 feet). But I have inside information that should be good enough reason for teams to steer clear of Westbrook until the late first round:

My friend Roger, a 6-foot-3 small forward who played for two different Division III schools, LOCKED UP Russell Westbrook in a pick-up game at UCLA last summer.

Yes, I’m serious. I was there. I was on his team. It was me (former high school division V California All-State player, thank you very much), Roger, and three scrubs against Westbrook, Lorenzo Mata, James Keefe, DeAndre Robinson, and a former UCLA football player.

First of all, I have no idea why four UCLA basketball players decided to hone their skills and prepare for the season by dismantling players that couldn’t even make the B-Division championship in intramurals.

But, after the Wooden Center Dream Team had won a couple of games, we had next so I figured it would be fun to say that we played against them. So I, 6-3 with shoes on, guarded the 6-8 (and hideously ugly) Lorenzo Mata, and Roger took Westbrook.

They started off joking around and throwing alley oops that went out of bounds over the basket. Westbrook got a steal and a fast break dunk where he clearly displayed his ‘plus’ athleticism.

Then a funny thing happened, we started winning.

You could see their body language getting a little more serious and MUCH more physical.

Soon enough it deteriorated into a regular old pickup game, complete with arguments, threatened violence, and three-minute long possessions.

Now, as much as I respect my friend’s game, he’s no Bruce Bowen when it comes to defense. His lateral quickness is, let’s just say, lacking. But he certainly is what we call a smart (otherwise known as white) defender.

But in a game to 11 by ones, Roger held soon-to-be top 10 NBA draft pick Russell Westbrook scoreless for the last 6 points or so, and it’s not like he wasn’t trying. Westbrook couldn’t make a jumper, and when he tried to get by Roger he couldn’t, pulling up for a crappy jumper or giving one of his patented ‘jump in the air for five seconds while I figure out what to do’ passes.

We ended up winning the game, and Lorenzo Mata tried to punch Roger in the face before the whole squad stormed off the court in disgust.

I think we lost the next game to five senior citizens but it didn’t really matter. We had our story to tell. By the time we’re in our 60s Russell Westbrook will turn into Baron Davis and Lorenzo Mata will be Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

So, that’s my cautionary tale for any team that wants to take Westbrook. In any case Roger can always say that he shut down an NBA player (no matter how bad he turns out) and if Westbrook ends up an all-star we can tell everyone that Roger’s tough love caused Westbrook to work harder and take his game to the next level.

In either case, Roger just has one thing to say: “Russell, tell me how my ass taste!”

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12 Responses to Don’t Draft Russell Westbrook!

  1. sheepy712 says:

    you wrote this just so you could include the Shaq video, didn’t you! 🙂

  2. Jugdah says:

    I really enjoyed watching Oklahoma beat the Timberwolves tonight… did u know that Russel Westbrook was the Budlight Player of the Game. I guess he has Roger to thank for it.
    Take a look at the big picture. DOn’t you think you need to stop bragging about one pick-up game.
    Signed,
    A True Bruin Fan

  3. Austin says:

    Russell Westbrook is a beast dude i am a huge UCLA fan, my parents both went there and raised me right. russell westbrook is no joke, hes an amazing player, stop bragging the story its probably half made up anyhow

  4. Josh says:

    Nice job man…I mean you are totally right drafting Russell Westbrook was not a great choice at all…..Did I also mention that having 22 points a couple nights ago isn’t good at all especially for a rookie…and a top contender for the dunk contest….I mean this guy SUCKS….Seriously dude…YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT BEFORE YOU WROTE THIS!!!!!

    Go Bruins

  5. Matt says:

    My brother played Earl Watson(Thunder), Jaron Rush(Jail), Matt Barnes(Suns), and another Bruin at the UCLA gym(not Pauly). My brother shut down Watson who is about 6-2 and my brother is 5-8. This means nothing. It is just a pickup game that does not matter. Sure, they got more physical and stuff but like you said, at first they were throwing stuff off the backboard, trying off dunks. My brother beat that team of Bruins but does not act like he is something because everyone is capable of losing and these guys probably did not care.

  6. Jeff says:

    LOL nice article. You should get paid for this stuff.

    By the way if i’m the washington wizards this year, I’m taking Roger #1

  7. lol says:

    lol russell just got a triple double on the mavs last night.

    you lose.

  8. roland paolo gonzaga sanchez says:

    russell westbrook rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. Jrue says:

    wow man
    roger should be drafted next year lol 🙂

    man, you’re just jealous and shit cuz Russell Westbrook is on his way to of becoming NBA’s next big thing and look at his stats? pretty impressive

    so what about roger? is he doing shit? damn u should marry roger or something

    thanks man very nice article, full of crap!

  10. Bruin says:

    Now do you feel stupid??

    • Well as I said in the post…Russell must have read this, seen the error of his ways and decided to buckle down.

      I’m like the bully who goes on the Jenny Jones “I was a nerd but now I’m hot” show and tells the transformed nerd that if it weren’t for me he wouldn’t have dedicated himself to change. I take 100% responsibility for Russell Westbrook’s dominance of the NBA.

      Thank you.

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